CAREGIVER ADVICE TOP TEN LIST

If you wish to succeed in life, you must follow these rules. Deviate from them at your own peril! You have been warned!

DD Awareness

(Includes original and reprinted quotes from comedic sages like Dave Barry.)

10. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

9. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

8. Never lick a steak knife.

7. Advice from a cardiologist: If it tastes good, spit it out.

6. The one word that explains why human beings have not achieved their full potential: meetings.

5. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well, just get up and dance.

4. If you can’t find the milk in the refrigerator, check the cupboard.

3.  Make a checklist for when you finally get a night out: Shoes, keys, wallet, phone, pants.

2. A son calls his mother. Mom how are you. Mom replies. Not too good. I haven’t eaten in 38 days. Replying with concern, the son asks, “what’s the matter mom, are you not feeling well…

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